"And I'll find peace at the bottom of real tall cold drink!"

power.
you have it over me.
i have no will power.
you will be the death of me.
i love you with everything i have.
every time you climb in your truck.
smile/nod goodbye.
i smile and wave.
i wish you could see what you do to me.
how you make me.
you make me crazy.
not the good way either.
when i found out she was still around.
i went off the deep end.
i thought you were leaving her.
yet another lie.
can't say im surprised.
i know.
i KNOW you can't be with me.
i just don't want you with her!
be with anyone,
be alone,
just don't be with her.
you can't love her.
if you did.
you wouldn't have me.
i wouldn't be writing this.
and my heart wouldn't be on the floor,
tear stained and trampled...

I Refuse To Be Buried In Your Legacy

This is my life.
I will not back down.
I will not settle for anything less the perfect.
I won't be stuck in Kentucky for my life.
I won't live and die in this zip code.
there is a world out there.
and I'm going to take it by storm. 
I refuse to live with regrets.
I won't regret taking this route.
this is my dream.
if you don't like it.
suck it up.
I'm going do something more.
then stay at home and take care of kids.
this is my one shot.
I'm going to take it.
and give it all I got.
I won't let you stand in my way.
keep me here in your little pocket.
stuck in your little world.
I won't.
I refuse to.
this is my legacy in the making.
this is my time to make it.
I won't be buried alive in yours. 

Paper Airplanes

paper air planes,

floating through the sky,

always leaving but never saying goodbye,

tiny lost paper plane,

where has your life went?

in the end when your crash will you find it well spent?

lonely little airplane,

you want to stay but your heart makes you go,

you loved him so much, but never told him so,

broken little airplane,

it’s been so long since you’ve been loved,

but the pain isn’t something your heart can rise above, 

naive piece of paper,

he said he loved you and you thought it true,

stupid, stupid girl he was meant to use you,

pretty pretty plane,

thought you were different but your the same,

tried to place it on someone else but your the blame,

strange paper plane,

always had friends but never fit in,

endlessly waiting for your life to begin,

plane plane go away,

searched and searched for a place you belong,

never found it even when its been this long?

paper air plane,

why are you still here?

your afraid to leave but what’s to fear,

fly paper airplane fly,

it’s what your made to do,

spread your wings and soar through the wide blue.

so this is what it comes down to?

i don't understand this? i haven't talked to you in nearly a year... and then out of the blue this? no he didn't contact me, or one of our mutual friends mentioned his name. I keep dreaming of him, and i have no clue why? it's not like im thinking about him. but yet still almost every night i dream of him? my friend blake said that all things happen for a reason and this a sign that we belong together. my friend shoshanna told me that my subconscious  is still in love with him? im like WTF!! im totally over him. its been over a year i even have TALKED to him. urgh im just so confused. that's all there is to it.

star oh bright, why do you bring me such fright?

what is love? a question asked by many. we are all searching for this answer but even i and google doesn't know :(  This past year I saw TWO shooting stars, (amazingly lucky right!) i of course wish upon them, all i want is love. someone to look past my exterior into the interior. look pasted the nasty glazed donut covering and find the jelly filling. :) haha sorry im cheesy just call me velvetta. i have guy friends, i even have guys i quote "talking to" but no one ever seems compatible. I hate to say it like this but they never quite match up to me. is it to much to ask for some originality? does everyONE have to be status quo? 

eh well any way im just ready to get out of Paducah. 

Someday I'll Be Living In A Big Ol' City....... Well Maybe.

Dreams what are they made of? Is it wrong to have a dream if you don't follow it? I'm a dreamer and my worst fear is that my dreams will never come true. That they will stay dreams forever and never become my reality. It's funny how much thought and energy that I put into worrying about the future. When hell! the future might not even get here!! So this is my resolution.. I will try to say what if and someday less and try to make my dreams happen...
well this one is short and sweet!
katy