star oh bright, why do you bring me such fright?

what is love? a question asked by many. we are all searching for this answer but even i and google doesn't know :(  This past year I saw TWO shooting stars, (amazingly lucky right!) i of course wish upon them, all i want is love. someone to look past my exterior into the interior. look pasted the nasty glazed donut covering and find the jelly filling. :) haha sorry im cheesy just call me velvetta. i have guy friends, i even have guys i quote "talking to" but no one ever seems compatible. I hate to say it like this but they never quite match up to me. is it to much to ask for some originality? does everyONE have to be status quo? 

eh well any way im just ready to get out of Paducah. 

Someday I'll Be Living In A Big Ol' City....... Well Maybe.

Dreams what are they made of? Is it wrong to have a dream if you don't follow it? I'm a dreamer and my worst fear is that my dreams will never come true. That they will stay dreams forever and never become my reality. It's funny how much thought and energy that I put into worrying about the future. When hell! the future might not even get here!! So this is my resolution.. I will try to say what if and someday less and try to make my dreams happen...
well this one is short and sweet!
katy 

A Reversed Broken Heart

close the doors, shut up the windows,

because the dark is the only place i shine,

what no one sees no one will know,

so shut your face and just be mine.

lock up your heart as you lock the door,

because my intentions are worse then they were before,

no one imagine i could be like this,

if only if they would have got to know me more.

pull me close but don't pull me in,

stop asking me about tomorrow,

I'm not here for years, I'm here for now,

so love me before i say goodbye again. 

its all or nothing, im not looking for your love,

you'll never love me and i won't love you,

its this broken heart i have to rise above,

thats what i need you for, not your love.

ill never cry another tear,

never live with that fear,

now my heart sneers,

away from love it steers.

this is my reversed broken heart,

bruised from the start,

its my time to put up a fight,

its time to tear them apart

there goes my hero, watch him as he goes

the struggles of a teenagers these days. the drugs, the sex, the achohol the things that old people read about and shutter... the things that i read about and shutter. but recently i read a book that made the everyday struggles of today's teens seem like child's play. what book could this be? "In My Hands" it is a nonfiction story about a rescuer in the holocaust. this girl, Irene Gut was doing things when she was only 16, that i can't even fathom doing ever! she was a young Polish girl when the war began, and heck she was still young when it ended. but she was a smuggler of Jews, when in that time someone that was even thought to be helping Jews could be KILLED. she deceived her master, hide a dozen Jews in the officer she works for house. she made numerous sacrifices for these Jews that did absolutely nothing to deserve her grace. many of the people she helped, whether it be sneaking them food, or smuggling them into the forest to hide out, she didn't even know them. they weren't childhood friends of hers, they didn't even live in the same town as her. but yet she felt that it was her duty to save them from dying a wrongful death. i wish more people now days were like Irene Gut, she did good because it was the right thing to do, not because it would get her a tax write off. she did the things she did because she knew what the German's were doing was wrong and because although she was only a 16 year old girl, she had to made a difference. Irene Gut is my new hero, she was my age, risking her life to save other people and she did just that. she saved numerous people and if i can accomplish only half the amazing things in my life as she did in hers. i would be amazing. i think that more people should read this book. its a inspiring book about the troubles of the past of the world. it gives you a new look into the horrors of the holocaust, you get to read about the sadistic terrors of hitler and his army. you get to see the things they didn't teach you in 8th grade holocaust section.
well thats all i have today.
these have been thoughts from katy's brain. :)

ANIMAL TESTING: a sadistic crime YOU are supporting

i think that maybe i was a hippy in a past life.... er more realistically i have been listening to nevershoutnever to much. ( but hey who could blame me :]) then it hit me, we will never reach world peace. because the moment the world is at peace is the moment it seizes to exist. there will always be some third world countries at war. so why don't we end things that are more of a possibility? like say END ANIMAL TESTING!! some of the things PETA comes up with, ill admit are a little... bizarre. but animal testing is one that i think is absolutely wrong! bunnies don't wear mascara! so don't pin them down and force it on them! urgh. as a part of this new found hatred and awareness of this sadistic crime, i decided that i was going to throw away all products that are made by companies that do animal testing. i was shocked and sadden by the fact that i would have to throw out 99% of my make up, my shampoo and conditioner, my toothpaste and all my hair products... well on a search for new products that don't torture animals for the pleasure of society i stumbled across some brands to stay away from when looking for new products!
-covergirl
-pantene (why i had to dispose of all my hair products)
-colgate (TOOTHPASTE SERIOUSLY!)
those are the big companies that i have found so far.
PS mary kay DOES NOT animal test if you were wondering

Your the boy every girl wants to dance with and I'm the girl who has had to many chances.

so my feelings for you are completely mixed.. sometimes i love you and other times i kinda whanna shot you in the face. this morning is one of those shot you in the face mornings. ok i understand that you are all popular and stuff and maybe im not as popular as a lot of people. but you don't have to shun my like im some nasty whore. trust me i've seen some of the girls you have been with and im definitely not THAT bad.. ugh you are a completely waste of my time and energy. Ans sure when we met you actually liked me and you flirted with me like there was no other girl on the planet. and i pushed you away becasue i didn't like you and that you were a nasty douche bag... well now i know that i wasnt to far off.  because you only like little stanky girls that have absolutely no self respect What SO EVER! so i will be over at my house, waiting for a guy that has more decency then you will ever have. have a nice life

Love Always
Katy

"this heart beats for only you"

ok so there is a slight chance that I am completely delusional. seriously the idea is very arguable. you know why? because i fell in love with you. and now my life is like a heart break country song. your dark eyes definitely dared me with danger. and yet i still hold on even though deep in my heart i know that this will only end in heart break. and then i will write some poetry and cry myself to sleep a couple nights. and yet i can't control it. i wish... I WISH i could have prevented this from happening. you know why? because you are a different kind of guy. different in not always a good way. your a little what i like to call a PLAYER! you break girls hearts and you don't care. you just dumped a girl because she wouldn't sleep with you. and yet i LOVE you still. sometimes the mere thought of you repulses me. i love you yet i loathe you is it even possible to have those kind of feeling mushed together. in a nut shell i am soooo confused. i just want to be with someone that is mature enough to be the kind of person i need him to be. but i don't think you have the ability.. i just now that somewhere between. Talon Falls, music and rides in your car.. i fell in love with you... and it is the most painful kind of love i have ever felt.