I Refuse To Be Buried In Your Legacy

This is my life.
I will not back down.
I will not settle for anything less the perfect.
I won't be stuck in Kentucky for my life.
I won't live and die in this zip code.
there is a world out there.
and I'm going to take it by storm. 
I refuse to live with regrets.
I won't regret taking this route.
this is my dream.
if you don't like it.
suck it up.
I'm going do something more.
then stay at home and take care of kids.
this is my one shot.
I'm going to take it.
and give it all I got.
I won't let you stand in my way.
keep me here in your little pocket.
stuck in your little world.
I won't.
I refuse to.
this is my legacy in the making.
this is my time to make it.
I won't be buried alive in yours. 

Paper Airplanes

paper air planes,

floating through the sky,

always leaving but never saying goodbye,

tiny lost paper plane,

where has your life went?

in the end when your crash will you find it well spent?

lonely little airplane,

you want to stay but your heart makes you go,

you loved him so much, but never told him so,

broken little airplane,

it’s been so long since you’ve been loved,

but the pain isn’t something your heart can rise above, 

naive piece of paper,

he said he loved you and you thought it true,

stupid, stupid girl he was meant to use you,

pretty pretty plane,

thought you were different but your the same,

tried to place it on someone else but your the blame,

strange paper plane,

always had friends but never fit in,

endlessly waiting for your life to begin,

plane plane go away,

searched and searched for a place you belong,

never found it even when its been this long?

paper air plane,

why are you still here?

your afraid to leave but what’s to fear,

fly paper airplane fly,

it’s what your made to do,

spread your wings and soar through the wide blue.

so this is what it comes down to?

i don't understand this? i haven't talked to you in nearly a year... and then out of the blue this? no he didn't contact me, or one of our mutual friends mentioned his name. I keep dreaming of him, and i have no clue why? it's not like im thinking about him. but yet still almost every night i dream of him? my friend blake said that all things happen for a reason and this a sign that we belong together. my friend shoshanna told me that my subconscious  is still in love with him? im like WTF!! im totally over him. its been over a year i even have TALKED to him. urgh im just so confused. that's all there is to it.

star oh bright, why do you bring me such fright?

what is love? a question asked by many. we are all searching for this answer but even i and google doesn't know :(  This past year I saw TWO shooting stars, (amazingly lucky right!) i of course wish upon them, all i want is love. someone to look past my exterior into the interior. look pasted the nasty glazed donut covering and find the jelly filling. :) haha sorry im cheesy just call me velvetta. i have guy friends, i even have guys i quote "talking to" but no one ever seems compatible. I hate to say it like this but they never quite match up to me. is it to much to ask for some originality? does everyONE have to be status quo? 

eh well any way im just ready to get out of Paducah. 

Someday I'll Be Living In A Big Ol' City....... Well Maybe.

Dreams what are they made of? Is it wrong to have a dream if you don't follow it? I'm a dreamer and my worst fear is that my dreams will never come true. That they will stay dreams forever and never become my reality. It's funny how much thought and energy that I put into worrying about the future. When hell! the future might not even get here!! So this is my resolution.. I will try to say what if and someday less and try to make my dreams happen...
well this one is short and sweet!
katy 

A Reversed Broken Heart

close the doors, shut up the windows,

because the dark is the only place i shine,

what no one sees no one will know,

so shut your face and just be mine.

lock up your heart as you lock the door,

because my intentions are worse then they were before,

no one imagine i could be like this,

if only if they would have got to know me more.

pull me close but don't pull me in,

stop asking me about tomorrow,

I'm not here for years, I'm here for now,

so love me before i say goodbye again. 

its all or nothing, im not looking for your love,

you'll never love me and i won't love you,

its this broken heart i have to rise above,

thats what i need you for, not your love.

ill never cry another tear,

never live with that fear,

now my heart sneers,

away from love it steers.

this is my reversed broken heart,

bruised from the start,

its my time to put up a fight,

its time to tear them apart

there goes my hero, watch him as he goes

the struggles of a teenagers these days. the drugs, the sex, the achohol the things that old people read about and shutter... the things that i read about and shutter. but recently i read a book that made the everyday struggles of today's teens seem like child's play. what book could this be? "In My Hands" it is a nonfiction story about a rescuer in the holocaust. this girl, Irene Gut was doing things when she was only 16, that i can't even fathom doing ever! she was a young Polish girl when the war began, and heck she was still young when it ended. but she was a smuggler of Jews, when in that time someone that was even thought to be helping Jews could be KILLED. she deceived her master, hide a dozen Jews in the officer she works for house. she made numerous sacrifices for these Jews that did absolutely nothing to deserve her grace. many of the people she helped, whether it be sneaking them food, or smuggling them into the forest to hide out, she didn't even know them. they weren't childhood friends of hers, they didn't even live in the same town as her. but yet she felt that it was her duty to save them from dying a wrongful death. i wish more people now days were like Irene Gut, she did good because it was the right thing to do, not because it would get her a tax write off. she did the things she did because she knew what the German's were doing was wrong and because although she was only a 16 year old girl, she had to made a difference. Irene Gut is my new hero, she was my age, risking her life to save other people and she did just that. she saved numerous people and if i can accomplish only half the amazing things in my life as she did in hers. i would be amazing. i think that more people should read this book. its a inspiring book about the troubles of the past of the world. it gives you a new look into the horrors of the holocaust, you get to read about the sadistic terrors of hitler and his army. you get to see the things they didn't teach you in 8th grade holocaust section.
well thats all i have today.
these have been thoughts from katy's brain. :)